Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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