Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
