Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize