I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
