what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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