I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
