He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
