It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
