I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
