so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
