We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
