Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
