I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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