did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
