so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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