I wish I only lived at night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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