If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
