i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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