when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
