I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
