so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Your penis caused this!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
