Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
