i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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