I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
