i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
