I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
