Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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