i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
