He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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