Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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