They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
