Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
