talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
