ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
