***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
