He kissed a someone with a penis
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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