glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
