White coat. Heels.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
