when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
