He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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