just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dignity is for republicans.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
