So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
