If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
