i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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