question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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