Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
