$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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