dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize