It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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