I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
