Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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