Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
