is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
