I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize