"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
