woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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