I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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