she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
