i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
