I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize