Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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