I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
