I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
