Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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