walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
